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美本申请文书范文赏析 这些备受招生官青睐的文书你都研究过了吗

06-01
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无论是美国还是英国在申请的时候都需要提交文书,本期我们来给大家分享一些美本申请文书范文,如果有书写文书需求的同学赶紧来研究一波吧!

美本申请文书范文赏析 这些备受招生官青睐的文书你都研究过了吗内容图片_1

美本申请文书范文

JHU优秀文书赏析

I looked up and flinched slightly. There were at least sixty of them, far more than expected. I had thirty weeks to teach them the basics of public speaking. Gritting my teeth, I split my small group of tutors among the crowd and sat down for an impromptu workshop with the eighth graders. They were inexperienced, monotone,  and quiet. In other words, they reminded me of myself…

内容赏析:设置hook吸引读者眼球,作者善用情景描写以及抓人的动词来展现细节。

I was born with a speech impediment that weakened my mouth muscles. My speech was garbled and incomprehensible. Understandably, I grew up quiet. I tried  my best to blend in and give the impression I was silent by choice. I joined no clubs  in primary school, instead preferring isolation. It took six years of tongue twisters and  complicated mouth contortions in special education classes for me to produce the forty-four sounds of the English language.

内容赏析:对开头的场景进行解释,一是让读者了解作者的背景遭遇,更能产生共情;二是构建悬念,吸引读者去继续阅读作者会如何行动。

Then, high school came. I was sick of. how confining my quiet nature had become.  For better or for worse, I decided to finally make my voice heard. Scanning the school club packet, I searched for my place. Most activities just didn’t  feel right. But then,  I sat in on a debate team practice and was instantly hooked. I was captivated by how confidently the debaters spoke and how easily they  commanded attention. I knew that this was the path forward.

内容赏析:阐述作者的行动,通过参加学校的辩论社改变自己言语障碍的问题。

Of course, this was all easier said than done. Whenever it was my turn to debate, I  found that I was more of a deer in the headlights than a person enjoying the spotlight.  My start was difficult, and I stuttered more than I spoke in those first few weeks.  Nonetheless, I began using the same tools as I did when I learned to speak all  those years ago: practice and time. I watched the upperclassmen carefully, trying to speak as powerfully as they did. I learned from my opponents and  adapted my style through the hundreds of rounds I lost. With discipline, I drilled,  repeating a single speech dozens of times until I got it right.

内容赏析:用细节说话,作者没有笼统得说经过训练获得了提升,而是具体写出了自己通过模仿高年级学员等方式来练习。

Day by day, I began to stand a little taller and talk a little louder both inside and  outside of debate. In a few months, my blood no longer froze when I was called on  in class. I found I could finally look other people in the eyes when I talked to them  without feeling embarrassed. My posture straightened and I stopped fidgeting around  strangers. I began to voice my opinions as opposed to keeping my ideas to myself

内容赏析:阐述努力的结果,变得更加自信,面对陌生人也不再紧张。获得初步阶段的胜利。

As my debate rank increased from the triple to single-digits, so too did my standing at  school. I began interacting with my teachers more and leading my peers in clubs. In  discussions, I put forward my ideas with every bit as much conviction as my  classmates. When seniors began to ask me for advice and teachers recruited me  to teach underclassmen, I discovered not only that I had been heard, but that  others wanted to listen. At heart, I am still reserved (some things never change), but  in finding my voice, I found a strength I could only dream of when I stood in silence  so many years ago.

内容赏析:陈述克服了开头的问题后所获得的技能和结果,通过串联其他活动经历进一步说明对自身产生积极影响。

Standing in front of the crowd of students, it was my hope that by founding this  program, I could give them an experience that was as empowering as mine had  been for me. As the weeks passed, the students inched past their insecurities and  towards finding their voices, just as I had always wanted to do. On the last day of  class for that year, I looked up and saw each of the students standing confidently,  equipped and ready to speak their minds in whatever they wanted to do. They had  come a long way from being the shy and stuttering novices that they were just thirty  weeks before—I can’t wait to see how far they can go from here.

内容赏析:进一步展现自己活动的影响力和对整个过程的反思,对文章进行升华,并做到首尾呼应。这篇文章的结构非常清晰,故事阐述流畅,通篇并没有很复杂的单词,也没有过多的长难句,文字的表达让人感到真实舒服,细节上的流露也更能让人产生共情。

美本申请文书范文赏析 这些备受招生官青睐的文书你都研究过了吗内容图片_2

看完了以上的范文,下面我们来看看美国院校招生官对于文书的书写都有哪些建议

麻省理工学院招生官

MIT申请文书强调诚实、开放、真实,文书并不是测试,而是一个自我的介绍信。避免过度强调自己的反思和成长,忽略成长经历的阐述,导致通篇文章空洞没有说服力。

耶鲁大学招生官

文书的最终目的是介绍自己,如果你在文书中提到活动别的人的经历太多,而自己却很少,这些素材写进文书意义并不大。太过于想要在文书中显得与众不同是不明智的,围绕素材来体现你的个人特质才是最重要的。例如现在许多学员会选择LGBT、女权等话题作为话题,其实平时经历的简单话题、活动,只要你对其有足够深入的思考,也能够写出好的文书。

文书需要与其他的申请背景相匹配,如果你写出一篇优质文书,但语言成绩却不够理想,有可能会被招生官质疑。

达特茅斯学院招生官

文书的开头很重要,招生官通常都是速读审阅,需要具有故事性的开头来吸引阅读兴趣,这就要求你需要花更多时间去思考如何撰写自己的文书。文书是没有公式的,你不用是一个特别好的writer,但一定要是一个好的thinker。

文书内容不能是罗列个人活动列表,需要share something interesting,细节化、个性化地体现你的成长经历。

康奈尔大学招生官

仔细审题,理解含义。不要去揣摩招生官想听到的答案,而是说出你自己内心最渴望表达的观点和想法。文书最重要的是让招生官看到你对选择话题的真实感受,看到你自身的故事、独特经历和感受。

但是美国文书小文书题目刁钻,完全无从下手:

“什么可以被0整除”

“用数学或哲学解决绕口令的难题”......

文书写作误区太多,一个不小心就会踏入陷阱

想解决文书书写的困难吗?那就赶紧来唯寻从参加唯寻的文书营,只需8天给你系统的文书培训,想了解更多具体信息吗?那就赶紧点击这里参加吧!

美本申请文书范文赏析 这些备受招生官青睐的文书你都研究过了吗内容图片_3

 Oasis计划·8天文书营 等你参加

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