美国大学本科申请文书范文分析教你如何抓住招生官眼球-唯寻国际教育

一篇成功、精彩的美国大学文书，除了要有经得起推敲的内容，还有考究的表达技巧。本文就来分析一篇美国大学本科申请文书范文，希望能帮到即将申请的小伙伴。

（点击查看英国文书和美国文书的区别）

美国大学本科申请文书范文分析教你如何抓住招生官眼球内容图片_1

什么是美国大学文书？

申请美国大学，是一定要提交文书的。

许多人认为个人陈述就是自我介绍，只需要把自己的经历以文章的形式写出来就好了。

但其实，你的个人经历都在你的个人简历（Resume / CV）里体现过了，没必要再逐项展开写在个人陈述里了。

所以不能把文书当简历去写，在一篇个人陈述中，同学们应该尽量去讨论自己对于一个问题或是该专业的深度看法以及自己对于所参与过的活动或做过的事情的深度剖析等等，而不是平平无奇地去描述自己的经历。

美国大学本科申请文书范文解析

下面让我们看看JHU约翰霍普金斯官网给出的一篇优秀文书，看看别人是如何凭借文字打动招生官，收获知名大学录取。

I looked up and flinched slightly. There were at least sixty of them, far more than expected. I had thirty weeks to teach them the basics of public speaking. Gritting my teeth, I split my small group of tutors among the crowd and sat down for an impromptu workshop with the eighth graders. They were inexperienced, monotone, and quiet. In other words, they reminded me of myself…

内容赏析：设置hook吸引读者眼球，作者善用情景描写以及抓人的动词来展现细节。

I was born with a speech impediment that weakened my mouth muscles. My speech was garbled and incomprehensible. Understandably, I grew up quiet. I tried my best to blend in and give the impression I was silent by choice. I joined no clubs in primary school, instead preferring isolation. It took six years of tongue twisters and complicated mouth contortions in special education classes for me to produce the forty-four sounds of the English language.

内容赏析：对开头的场景进行解释，一是让读者了解作者的背景遭遇，更能产生共情；二是构建悬念，吸引读者去继续阅读作者会如何行动。

Then, high school came. I was sick of. how confining my quiet nature had become. For better or for worse, I decided to finally make my voice heard. Scanning the school club packet, I searched for my place. Most activities just didn’t feel right. But then, I sat in on a debate team practice and was instantly hooked. I was captivated by how confidently the debaters spoke and how easily they commanded attention. I knew that this was the path forward.

美国大学本科申请文书范文分析教你如何抓住招生官眼球内容图片_2

内容赏析：阐述作者的行动，通过参加学校的辩论社改变自己言语障碍的问题。

Of course, this was all easier said than done. Whenever it was my turn to debate, I found that I was more of a deer in the headlights than a person enjoying the spotlight. My start was difficult, and I stuttered more than I spoke in those first few weeks. Nonetheless, I began using the same tools as I did when I learned to speak all those years ago: practice and time. I watched the upperclassmen carefully, trying to speak as powerfully as they did. I learned from my opponents and adapted my style through the hundreds of rounds I lost. With discipline, I drilled, repeating a single speech dozens of times until I got it right.

内容赏析：用细节说话，在这篇美国大学本科申请文书范文中，作者没有笼统得说经过训练获得了提升，而是具体写出了自己通过模仿高年级学员等方式来练习。

Day by day, I began to stand a little taller and talk a little louder both inside and outside of debate. In a few months, my blood no longer froze when I was called on in class. I found I could finally look other people in the eyes when I talked to them without feeling embarrassed. My posture straightened and I stopped fidgeting around strangers. I began to voice my opinions as opposed to keeping my ideas to myself.

内容赏析：阐述努力的结果，变得更加自信，面对陌生人也不再紧张。获得初步阶段的胜利。

As my debate rank increased from the triple to single-digits, so too did my standing at school. I began interacting with my teachers more and leading my peers in clubs. In discussions, I put forward my ideas with every bit as much conviction as my classmates. When seniors began to ask me for advice and teachers recruited me to teach underclassmen, I discovered not only that I had been heard, but that others wanted to listen. At heart, I am still reserved (some things never change), but in finding my voice, I found a strength I could only dream of when I stood in silence so many years ago.

内容赏析：陈述克服了开头的问题后所获得的技能和结果，通过串联其他活动经历进一步说明对自身产生积极影响。

Standing in front of the crowd of students, it was my hope that by founding this program, I could give them an experience that was as empowering as mine had been for me. As the weeks passed, the students inched past their insecurities and towards finding their voices, just as I had always wanted to do. On the last day of class for that year, I looked up and saw each of the students standing confidently, equipped and ready to speak their minds in whatever they wanted to do. They had come a long way from being the shy and stuttering novices that they were just thirty weeks before—I can’t wait to see how far they can go from here.

内容赏析：进一步展现自己活动的影响力和对整个过程的反思，对文章进行升华，并做到首尾呼应。