提早发现孩子压力过大的迹象 | Signs that your child may be too stressed

压力是生活和成长的一部分，在某些情况下，甚至有助于孩子成长为适应能力强的学习者。然而，过多的压力会对孩子的成长产生不利影响。父母可能会忽略了孩子在步入成年的过程中所面临的复杂情绪和焦虑。正如诺德安达教育的 John Nicholls 在《华盛顿邮报》上所论述的那样，对许多人来说，由于种种原因，迈向成年可能是人生中最艰难的时期。不管是面临考试或来自社会的压力，还是进入青春期，您都可以通过以下一些迹象了解孩子是否感到压力，以及您该如何帮助孩子排解：

1.睡眠习惯：

孩子比平常睡得多还是少？孩子的睡眠模式会对情绪和大脑功能产生很大影响。诺德安达教育的职业发展助理主任 John Nicholls 告诉《华盛顿邮报》，由于生理变化，青少年必然会出现睡眠不足的问题。研究表明，青少年的生理节律比一般成年人晚两个小时，这意味着即使您的孩子想要睡足觉，他们的身体也会产生反向作用。虽然帮助您的孩子入睡可能不太容易，但您可以通过减少咖啡因的摄入量来帮助孩子改善睡眠。茶、某些碳酸饮料、巧克力、咖啡，甚至蛋白质能量棒都含有咖啡因，因此最好告诉您的孩子可能导致他们失眠的原因。鼓励您的孩子多在睡觉前读书，尽量不要使用移动设备和观看电视，因为经证实这会影响睡眠质量。根据英国医疗服务体系的建议，最好让孩子每天晚上按时睡觉。

2.身体感觉不适：

有压力可以表现在很多方面。有的孩子可能不愿意直接告诉家长自己感到压力、沮丧或焦虑。相反，他们的不安可能会以胃痛、头痛或感觉虚弱或嗜睡的形式表现出来。请务必与您的家庭医生确认这些症状是否会更加严重，但请记住，它们也可能是压力的迹象。如果您的孩子经检查没有任何健康问题，请尝试找出问题的根源，询问他们的感受以及他们是否因压力感到不适。

3.缺乏自信：

许多年轻人都受到自信问题的困扰。孩子们甚至可能没有意识到他们自卑。回避社交场合、学习成绩落后，或者饮食习惯的改变，都可能是缺乏自信的表现。根据英国国家医疗服务体系的调查研究，自卑形成于儿童时期。媒体、老师、朋友和家人往往会向我们传递关于我们自己的正面或负面信息。负面信息往往戳中孩子的痛处，会对孩子产生更大的影响。事实上，自尊并不是一夜之间就能建立起来的，因此教导孩子坚韧不拔的价值和积极思考的力量，这一点十分重要。这并不意味着您应该告诉孩子万事大吉，而是要和孩子讨论克服逆境的方法和应对压力的策略。演奏音乐、加强锻炼和与他人交流都是缓解压力的好方法。

最重要的是，敞开沟通的窗户。您的孩子可能会犹豫是否要告诉您可能导致他们压力的原因，但重要的是要表明您在认真倾听，即使孩子还没有准备好开口。请记住，孩子们经常会留心观察父母是如何应对压力的。务必要在克服生活中的压力的过程中，树立健康的榜样。

Stress is a part of life and growing up, and, in some cases, even a good thing in helping children to become resilient learners. However, excessive stress can be detrimental to a child’s development. Parents may not be aware of the mixed-emotions and anxiety that children face as they grow into young adults. For many, coming of age can be the hardest years for a number of reasons as discussed by Nord Anglia Education's John Nicholls in the Washington Post. Whether caused by exams, social pressures, or being an adolescent in general, here are some signs to know whether or not your child is feeling stressed and how to support him/her:

1. Sleeping habits:

Is your child sleeping more or less than usual? Your child’s sleeping patterns can have a great impact on mood and brain function. John Nicholls, Nord Anglia Education’s Assistant Director of Professional Development, tells the Washington Post that teenage sleep deprivation is unavoidable due to physiological changes. Studies have shown that teenage circadian rhythms are two hours behind the average adult, meaning even if your child tries to achieve a full night’s sleep, their bodies are working against them. While it may be a challenge to help your child get to sleep, you can help by encouraging them to take in less caffeine. Tea, certain carbonated drinks, chocolate, coffee, and even protein bars all contain caffeine so it is best to inform your child what might be causing their sleeplessness. Encourage your child to read a book rather than using their mobile devices and screens before bed, which has also been proven to affect sleep quality. The National Health Service recommends that you get your child to sleep at a consistent hour every night.

2. Feeling sick or unwell:

Stress can manifest in many ways. Your child may not feel comfortable telling you directly that they feel stressed, depressed or anxious. Instead, their unease may come in the form of a stomach ache, headache or feelings of weakness or lethargy. It is important to check with your family physician whether or not these symptoms are more serious, but keep in mind that they could also be signs of stress. If your child checks out with a clean bill of health, try to get to the root of the problem to ask how they are feeling and whether or not they may be feeling unwell due to stress.

3. Lack of confidence:

Struggling with confidence is not unusual for many young adults. Children may not even be aware that they have low self-esteem. Withdrawing from social situations, falling behind in academic performance, or changes in eating habits can all point to a lack of self-confidence. According to the UK National Health Service, low self-esteem begins at childhood. The media, teachers, friends and family send us messages about ourselves that are either positive or negative. Negative messages tend to stick and have a greater impact on a child. Indeed, self-esteem is not built overnight, and so it is important to teach your child the value of being resilient and the power of positive thinking. This does not mean that you should tell your child everything will be great, but it does mean talking to your child about ways to overcome adversity and strategies to cope with stress. Playing music, exercise, and connecting with others are all ways to alleviate stress.

Most importantly, open up the channel for discussion. Your child may be hesitant to tell you about what might be causing their stress, but it is important to show that you are listening even if they are not ready to talk. Remember that children often look to their parents to see how they deal with stress. It is important to set healthy examples of how to overcome stress in your life.